One Step Enough For Me

There are hundreds of stories and topics I want to share! It is so hard to pick just one...
But, there has been something on my mind lately and I think this is where I'll start.

A couple years ago I discovered this gem of a hymn during a huge trial in my life; when I was trying to decide whether or not to serve a mission.  Today I don't have time to talk about that particular experience, I promise I will soon though.

(All of the hymns I reference will come out of the LDS Hymn Book)

Picture courtesy of lifeintheformofart.blogspot.com

Hymn 97 Lead Kindly Light

1. Lead kindly light amid the encircling gloom; Lead thou me on!
The night is dark and I am far form home; Lead thou me on!
Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see the distant scene--
One step enough for me.

2. I was not ever thus, not prayed that though shouldst lead me on.
I loved to choose and see my path but now, Lead thou me on!
I loved the garish day, and spite of fears.
Pride ruled my will.
Remember not past years.

3. So long thy power hath blessed me, sure it still will lead me on.
O'er moor and fen, o'er crag and torrent till the night is gone.
And with the morn those angel faces smile,
Which I have loved long since and lost a while.

I have turned to these words countless times since then, and they have helped me keep an eternal perspective every time. See, Heavenly Father has a plan for me. He has a plan for you.  Sometimes we can't see the path He needs us to walk.  Sometimes we (I) lose faith and don't trust that his path is better than the one I think is best.  However, this thinking is flawed.  This thinking leads to days months and even years of fear, tears and confusion.

In order to eliminate that fear and confusion I have had to learn to trust in the Lord.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (King James Version) reads; "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths for good."  
This is one of the hardest concepts for me to grasp and apply.

I have been going to college for four years now.  I have changed my major 3 times and have even transferred to a different school to apply for the program I felt prompted to apply for. I thought I had finally found my path.  I thought the decision making in that arena of my life was over.  Little did I know (OK, looking back I did kind of have a feeling) that I wouldn't be accepted to that program.

Five days ago my plans for the next two (and basically all working) years of my life were shattered.  I found out I was not accepted to the program.  I can reapply in a year.  A YEAR!!!  I know that isn't too long. But my master plan is now all thrown off! I was looking forward to being done with school, soon.  And for a minute (or couple days, sadly) I was mad.  I was embarrassed. I was crushed.  But I still felt oddly at peace.  I felt the reassurance that everything would be alright, that it would all work out.  I was still devastated, but I knew, this too would pass.

I still don't know what path I am going to take.  I don't know if I need to apply again next year.  Or if I should go back to school for something else.  Or, if I should do something completely out of my comfort zone, stop school all together.   My path is not yet clear to me.  I do not know where I am going or what I am doing.  Sometimes, that thought overwhelms me and threatens to send me into darkness.  But then I remember... ONE STEP IS ENOUGH FOR ME.  I don't need to see my whole path.  I don't even need to see my next step.  I just need to trust in my Lord and now that he will "direct my paths for good."  He will not let me fail.  He will not forsake me.  He will always be with me. He knows what I need to do.  He knows what He needs me to do!! :)  He will not tell me what to do. But He will support me as I make decisions and help me feel at peace as I make the correct choices.

And that is enough for me.  One day at a time. One hour at a time.  I will trust in my Lord and know that His light will lead me along. That is an ironic eternal perspective isn't it?  Eternal in the sense that I am trusting in an all knowing and loving God and yet limited in the sense that I can not see.

I know all will be well.